CHAT

Lots of people are meeting members of the opposite sex online these days and having first dates and it is required that you chat with that someone you do not yet know.  Even meeting people at a forth coming holiday party or other social setting requires talking to a perfect stranger.  Business networking... ok, you get the idea: you need to know how to talk new people without looking like a jerk, idiot, bore, stalker, desperado, needy or creepy.  Symptoms that you are blowing it:

1. When people back up as you are talking - stop inching forward.  You are being creepy.
2. When people are reluctant to answer the question you have just asked, back off.  You are being an obtrusive jerk.  You also seem like a stalker if the questions going unanswered are of a personal nature.
3. If you find you are doing most of the talking, well, it’s time to share the mike.  You are being a bore.  Yes you are, I don’t care how interesting you feel in that moment.
4. If you are winning an argument and you are loud, animated and spraying your words; seriously, you’re probably being a jerk.  It is probably not the first time either. 
5. If you only want to talk about yourself or how something went terribly wrong and it’s not your fault, hello:  You are being needy.  Yes you are, and the person you are talking to knows it and will bolt the first chance they get.  
6. If the person you want to talk to keeps getting away from you and you have had to look for them several times; they are ditching you and you need to know that you are being a bit of a stalker.
7. If you are staring at a person and they will not make eye contact with you, walk away.  Otherwise, you seem a tad creepy for not taking the hint that the individual does not want to chat with you.
8. If you are calling someone a name for not answering your questions, or participating in your discussion, I am sorry to tell you: you are being an idiot.  I know, you feel powerful and entitled but no, you’re just an idiot and others are too polite to tell you as much.  Mostly, nobody smart wants to argue with an idiot.

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”
― Dave Barry

Comments? We'd love to hear examples of "winners" you've met at parties. 

THE TROUBLE WITH FICTION

 Beautiful model Tara

I recently saw this photo of a beautiful, voluptuous woman on FaceBook along with an article rebutting an offensive question this photo posed in a gym: whether one wants to be a whale or mermaid. Many of my friends LIKED the article raising hell about the whale/mermaid ad.

To moi,  the  woman in this photo is outwardly beautiful: manicured eyebrows, lovely hair, sultry lips, moisturized skin and pedicured feet.  To say one is beautiful because one is slender, well I beg to differ.  Worldly beauty demands maintenance, this woman maintains herself.  Her weight is but an ingredient in a recipe that would still be well received by many: what is not to like about a vibrant and passionate person; their embrace, their laughter?  

I agreed that mermaids are lovely, fictional creatures and feel this media generated sensation was a successful ploy against very real, lemming like human beings unwilling to think for themselves and I enjoyed the light rebuttal from what was likely a plus sized woman, right up until this part:

 “We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.”

The person who wrote that was probably kidding and that made me think that it was a jolly and maybe nervous coverup for what is true: you consume more fat and calories than you are willing to burn.  I can accept that and you should, too.  

That ad was offensive and I bet it was more discouraging than it was encouraging.  Please  keep this in mind: 

“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.”
― Toni Morrison, Beloved

Did this article leave you with something to say?  Sound off in the comment section.  All comments welcome. Really

Designated Drinks

Mocktails

I remember the first time I saw a Tequila Sunrise, it looked enchanting to me.  It proved most unkind to my innards and I remember that, too.  I am still smitten with the color variation and the fruit inside.  I really don’t like all the calories of imbibing but I must say, I am highly attracted the visual appeal of some cocktails.  Join this with the light sparkle of a club soda and you will have made a friend in me. 

The challenge with altering a cocktail into a mocktail is that liquor usually has to be offset with sweetness of some measure to make it bearable to mere mortals.  Remove that turpentine, stomach fire ingredient and you need to bring new balance to your drinky-poo.  Club soda’s and mineral waters offer something bitter as does a squeeze of lemon or lime.  These are lighter than fruit juices and if you add your colored portion slowly, you can achieve a magical sunrise or dawn appearance in your glass.  Impart dark ingredients, like a pomegranate or mottle a dark berry, and you have  achieved something that won’t threaten maschismo.  Real men won’t give a fig, however.   Shown:  Pomegranate Blueberry Mocktail recipe from Annie’s Eats. 

Now keep in mind that some drinks will leave you wanting, like a Nojito because my taste buds invariable will go: Hey! Where’s the beef (-eater)!  It may be best to try something unknown to your taste buds to avoid the indignant, disappointing backlash from your inner lush.  How about a non-alcohol Cosmo like this one from allrecipes or a Designated Appletini from the Confessionsofthetruefoodski.  Look man, I don’t know what you like, those are just my ideas but:

 

There is an app for that...

50+ Most Popular Mocktails, and it will cost you: $1.99.  The mocktail’s featured here can be ordered at a bar or made at home and the point here is that you don’t have to feel the dullard when you choose not to imbibe.  We know how scintillating you like to be.

You pre-packaged loving, short-cut taking, non-purists may enjoy Crystal light’s versions with cheerful little packets of mocktails toting only 5 calories.  I am not really the biggest fan of the artificial sweeteners since I have learned that they actually make you crave sweets but I know there are those of you who just shrug at this.  The good folks at Crystal Light treasure you silly darlings as you are good for business.  Feel free to try their Mojito, Margarita and Appletini flavors which are available for a limited time.  Mix them up in a pitcher, throw in some ice, and decorate your glasses just like you would with a high calorie drink and get your cheer on!

Do you have a great mocktail recipe or comment? I love it when you share =)

Comment below.

Lazy, -er Slow Cooking

I love to cook!  Sometimes.  I love to eat all of the time.  Good stuff I mean; flavorful, thought out, healthy food.  Things that make you close your eyes to savor the taste, texture, aroma.  It's really hard for me to settle on Mc Fries and Burger Thing.  And I said I was not going to buy another cookbook but gosh, they are some of my favorite things to read.  I found this one and absolutely must tell you about it.  

real slow cooking by kathryn hawkins


Now don't let the chopped, shucked, diced and sprigged cover fool you, there are some taste bud fabulous things going on between the covers.  Things that never occurred to me are going in the pot and returning taste and smell rewards extraordinaire.  Like what?  Ok, I will tell you like what... Have you ever thought to put stuffed bell peppers (with lean sausage) in a crock pot?  Or make a dessert like a fruit cobbler in the crock pot?  Or roll fish fillets around salmon, atop diced fresh vegetables in a crock pot?  Or make an ethnic dish, a Thai one... in the crock pot!  Ok smart-arse, I haven't and I humbly bow to Ms. Hawkins for composing such wizardry.  I found it at Barnes and Noble but of course Amazon.com has it.  Oh, and it is on sale =) because I am lazy AND cheap.  Just like you.

Update...

Recently I showed some dazzling pebble mosaics on my blog like this where designer/artisans arranged flat pebbles on there sides in enchanting visual patterns.  While the pebble mosaic is an incredible treat to the eyes, those round pebbles are slippery to walk on en masse, and don't even think about doing so if you are wearing high heeled shoes.  Can you say "Birkenstock friendly only"?  Nonetheless, pebble mosaics are unforgettable and so here is what I'm doing with the inspiration:

Years ago I had my patio made by my design with the top composed of flagstone pavers with the delightful name of Purple Mountains Majesty.  I liked the pavers well enough but the cement grout really left something to be desired.   For me the cement was not organic enough and lacked a visual quality.  I was stuck with it's monotony for a while and then low and behold the grout began to crack.  This could be a maintenance cringe for some but I was singing hallelujah's because I saw it as a chance at plan B: do a pebble mosaic the grout lines!  

Yes, this is a time consuming project but I am enjoying the transformation.  It's coming out exactly as I imagined with the Mexican Beach Pebbles doing their job magnificently.  I hand picked the flat stones (along with my family) at the rock quarry for their flatness.  

When the pebble mosaic grout is finished, I will add a glossy sealer to the flagstone paver and pebble surface which will reveal the hue variations of the natural materials.  Keep watching and if you have any questions please feel free to leave them in the comment section.

The original pebble mosaic post is here: Off the Beaten Path with photos and instructional link.

Thought for the day is:

To Lose Patience is To Lose The Battle by Olive_Rosehips

Thanks for visiting.

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ROSE PETALS ...

You ever see that sarcastic bunny?  Well, his androgynous tail isn't the only one who knows how to have fun.  Here's (magnetic) proof:

Lovely You by Olive_Rosehips

Grass Hole by Olive_Rosehips

Fabulous Called by Olive_Rosehips

I'm here until Tuesday!  Ok, I'm always here and these are for sale.  Always.

Off the Beaten Path...

Cobblestone or pebble mosaic path by MaggyHowarth.  This design is created by imbedding individual stones in cement according to a predesigned pattern.  This one is very colorful and intricate but simpler ones are quite the eye candy, also.

Having long been a fan of cobblestone mosaics, I have patiently waited for a chance to do something with this art form that doesn't take a lifetime, after all, I do have a day job.

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Well, darn it, the grout between my flagstone has cracked in various places and needs tending to.  Hmm, cobblestones!

Get some of these from your local rock yard after looking at inspiration like this and see what you can make.

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Feedback is AWESOME !!
Would you mind leaving a check mark in one of the response boxes or even leave a comment.  

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 This vining pebble mosaic here in the grout line gave me the inspiration go do a cobblestone grout project.  While this flat stone vein is attractive, I craved something stunning.  Placing the stones on their side will do the trick.  I believe this will take me the better part of the summer to complete, so you can expect a progress check blog later.

Fine Gardening was kind enough to instruct us on how to create a pebble mosaic. Photo by Virginia Small.  

I want to share with you a much smaller project because I suspect your grout is fine and some of you wouldn't mind creating a stunning pebble mosaic in this lifetime.  Check out these outdoor mosaic projects:

The contrived tree rends a healthy workload.

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WATERMELON..... with style

image kiwi, feta, melon salad
Watermelon is a refreshing part of summer for many and when we become adults; sticking our faces into a cold, refreshing watermelon, dripping it down the front of our shirts and spittin out the seeds really isn't as cute as it was back in the good ol' days.  I still want some, though, so let us refine our sensibilities and see if we can enjoy watermelon with dignity, shall we? 



follow this blog...

Would you, could you
with a fork?

A sure sign that you are an adult is that you eat your watermelon with a fork.  Isn't that lovely... (yawn)?  Let's perk that baby up (the watermelon, silly) and throw it in a salad to mingle with interesting things like feta cheese and red onion!  That's worth sticking a fork into! Martha Stewart, well, her staff likely came up with this fantastic Watermelon and Feta Salad.  Who cares who created it, I want some! Recipe found here.

Or, hey! How about a straw?
Would you, could you
with a straw?



I could... and not just because this delightful Watermelon and Cucumber Tonic is imbibed with gin.  I think a citrine rum might be a lovely substitute myself, but, nonetheless, this has refreshing mint, plenty of tonic water, some lemon and I want some!  I found this recipe here at MyRecipes dot com.




Would you, could you
as an hors d'oeuvres?

Well, I got this recipe from Charles Springfield, who got it from Paula Deen, and it's simple and elegant enough that when served to your guests, they will smile and enjoy the watermelon squares and find it grand in doing so in spite of the fact that it does not remain on their faces and they can not spit out the seeds like small children.  Scroll down for recipe of Watermelon Salad with Mint leaves. 


If you just want to K.I.S.S. your watermelon (keep it simple, stupid) because you are just not into all the smancy stuff, that is totally cool, my friend.  Slice your watermelon into sticks, call it finger food, have a little something to dip it into if you like; yogurt, low fat sour cream... it's all good.  I found this little source of joy here at Babble.  Kids and adults alike will appreciate this as finger food and it is a neat (as in not messy) way to have some summer joy.


Leave a Comment...  
Perhaps this is where a nice person would say  "please" instead of "dammit"!


For more watermelon joy...


Olive Rosehipes archives has these lovelies for your review:


These recipes are here in the August 2009 edition

FASHION AROUND $100

I love fashion and I tried to create a fashion look for under $100 but I only came close as this edgy fashion statement came in at $103.79.  You can keep in under $100 if you use a t-shirt or white jeans you already have. 

$47 This bell sleeve jacket in gunmetal grey is a statement piece with just enough color to be elegant in 3 seasons and works in those air conditioned summer environments.  Wear it open or closed. 

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$19.99 White skinny capris look splendid under the boxy jacket, this link connects you to capris similar to the ones shown but at a reasonable price.  The jacket does the talking and the capris offer a supporting role in this look.
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I would be honored if you followed my BLOG, options on the right~~~>

 $28 Sling back pumps unmistakably reiterate your hotty status here in an espadrille platform which features an animal print.  Animal prints are classic, the two colors still make these relatively neutral and ensure you get plenty of opportunity to wear again.

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This is where we go over our $100 because you may want to wear a lacy femme fatal top under that jacket and let it peek out over your jeans or tuck it in.  The price isn't outrageous  at all at $8.80 and a lacy number like this is sure to keep you from over heating this summer.  Wear a camisole underneath if you wear your jacket unbuttoned.
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Speaking of classics, it is wonderful to have one special sarong in your wardrobe and here are a few ways to wear one from the ORH archives.

Comments are alway welcome...

THE UNUSUAL SUSPECTS

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(willing to exchange follow for follow to your blog)

You bring wine to parties or to your host and you want to be as thoughtful as can be.  I know that about you and that is why I want to share some ideas on how to be memorable.   Bring a BIG ASS ZIN or a BIG ASS CAB.  Heh heh.  You will be remembered.  These get their name from the big taste and so you know, they have a smooth finish on the tongue.  Their corks say Big Ass, which you must admit, is conversational.  The artwork on the label is precious as well, the gentleman wears an impressed expression. Here you will find something fun to do with the cork if you had a memorable event and are saving it.

Ok, say a BIG ASS is not your thing, I get that.  Really, I do.  Something refined and vintage suits your palate and style.  I recommend a classic, large cock.  Rex Goliath to be exact.  The label comes from a vintage poster and speaks of your fine standards and what you offer.  This large tasting line of wines has a Cabernet, Merlot, Cab Sauvignon, Chardonnay, and Pinot Grigio.  The prices range from about $5-$10 American dollars.  The wine bottle has so nice a label that you may not want to throw it away which is why I used mine for watering my plants... fill it with water and shove the mouth down into the soil like this here.

  The more elegant affair 

calls for a LITTLE BLACK DRESS wine.  They come in Cab’s, Pinot’s, Merlot’s, Chard’s.  Yeah, yeah, blah, blah.  Hey, you can do something fun with you wines and make them into light cocktails to serve or include the recipe with your gift.  You need a shaker, get one!  This wine cocktail recipe for a LBD Fashionista comes from MY WOODEN SPOON DOT  COM.  You’ll find several other recipes there for your enjoyment.

Fashionista

• 2 oz Little Black Dress Pinot Noir
• ½ oz Pomegranate
• ½ oz Fresh Squeeze Lime
• ½ oz Agave Nectar

In a shaker filled with ice, add all ingredients, roll to mix and transfer to a tall glass. Garnish with a lime wedge.

Also fun to try:

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If these remind you of the people you know and love and want to bring a fond smile to their faces, I hope you'll drop by your local winery.


I would love if you left the name of your favorite wine in the comments section.  Especially if it is a white wine, I have never met a white wine I like so I hope someone can recommend one.

HAPPY ACCIDENTS

As a girl I was captivated by simple things.  Not much has changed apparently because my kitchen faucet is leaking and it made me think to share these recipes based upon thoughts of splats.  Don’t ask. They’re all delicious though to be sure.

Cheese Crisps...

that’s what FOOD & WINE magazine calls these tasty little bits of cheese oops.  I made these on accident (I know you have also but we’re not talking about you are we? No, haha, so anywho...) when cheese leaked from something else I was preparing.  I kindly lifted them from the pan with my spatula and let them cool.  I served them as little food accessories and I thought they were pretty cool.  My guests did also and I never forgot them.  You try ‘em, ok.  On purpose. FOOD AND WINE did it like this:  http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/stovetop-mac-and-cheese-with-cheese-crisps

Brittle...

that’s what one gets when sugar cooks in an oiled, medium high heat pan until it browns.  You could have this happy accident in a pan sprayed with cooking spray (Pam) and then sprinkle it with walnuts, almonds, pecans, sunflower seeds - you pick.  Then remove the beautiful browned sugar and seeds from your medium high heat pan and allow time to cool (10 minutes).  Crumble to size you find pleasing and sprinkle over something to fancy it up.  I do this over a lettuce salad.  No it’s not healthy but it is incredible to behold with your eyes and with your taste buds.   

You could also make little sugar discs and add to a scoop of ice cream for a gourmet touch.

Image source: http://fotobank.ru/image/SF20-9868.html

Tuille Cookies

I know you have taken cookies too soon from the cookie sheet and they have melted like a sleepy baby from your spatula and then you let them cool some more.  What happens if you don’t?  Well you can shape them into culinary magic if you were so inclined... 

Do this with a really light cookie and you can shape a cone, a fortune cookie, a chip or crisp.  Sometimes I make these when people show up unannounced, they’re that quick and easy.  I drape the warm cookie over my rolling pin.  Here is a simple recipe for a light cookie but not as thin as the one pictured above.  Most closely matches the cookie shown in ice cream cake photo.  The cookies can be chocolate, with cocoa powder added, or vanilla.  Try something fun by piping chocolate into an initial or shape and then add the vanilla over the top.  The thin cookie spreads out on the cookie sheet so allow ample room.  Tuille cookie recipe.

Shown above are a Tuille Orange Lace Cookies  (recipe link)

Though I think the term cookie is generously bestowed here, they are still fun to make for your coffee, dieting friends or to have ala mode. 

 

The real magic of Tuille Cookies is that what you can do with them is infinite.  Trace into something sturdy, a simple shape. Lay the template on a silpat or cookie sheet and smear your tuille batter over it, then lift.  Bake your cookie and then shape it while it's still warm and you should have something insanely amazing.

• TEMPLATE (AND TUILLE COOKIE RECIPE)

PHOTO SOURCE:

ice cream cake tuille

five spiral swirls of vanilla tuille

chocolate tuille cookie spoons with peanut butter mouse